Episode 2 I am Enough with Sheridan Stewart - Love Yourself Well Podcast

Love Yourself Well Podcast

Episode 2: I am Enough. Sheridan Stewart

Mild Language warning.

Get ready for a fun and insightful conversation with Sheridan Stewart, author, public speaker and broadcaster with the Australian Broadcasting Corporation. As a former FM radio presenter, she has interviewed rock stars, celebrities, politicians and everyday people, but today Sheridan is on the other side of the microphone sharing about her first book, I am Enough and offering tips on how you can feel and be enough right now by prioritising calm, slowing down and focusing on self-care wherever you are in your life.

There are a couple of glitches in the recording; thank you for your patience as I learn to be a podcast host!

Follow Sheridan Stewart on Instagram sheridan.stewart 

Buy Sheridans book: I am enough available Booktopia  or Amazon 

Become an OM Insider to receive my newsletter here.

Follow me on Instagram:@iamoceamarie

Work 1:1 with me. Learn more here.  

Show Notes:

Introduction & Welcome by me

Key Themes:

-        Challenges and impact of society in self perception.

-        Self-love and self-acceptance is a layered process that still allows room for ambition.

-        Reframing success, blame and control over one’s world.

-        Finding contentment amidst life uncertainties.

-        Aligning and assessing dreams with personal growth and reality.

-        Creating affirmations that are believable and will serve you.

-        Finding happiness beyond material wealth.

-        Setting boundaries to protect mental and emotional well-being.

-        Managing your professional identity to prevent burnout.

-        Ideas on how to have moments of mindfulness and pause for personal development.

-        Embracing your ‘enoughness’.

Resources and Support:

-        ‘I am enough’ by Sheridan Stewart.

-        Free content on my website.

-        OM Insiders Newsletter for positive vibes.

Closing Remarks:

-        Reminder that you can want to change and still be enough.

Thank you for joining me on this journey of self-love on the “Love Yourself Well” Podcast. Stay tuned for more empowering content in upcoming episodes. Remember to subscribe on Apple, Spotify or Soundcloud.

If you like to read:

Transcript

[Music]

Guest (Sheridan Stewart): Check that your dream is actually in line with who you are today and if it's out of date, don't be afraid to let go. Let go, letting go is not the same as giving up and I think that was a fear of my youth, reflecting on what we were talking about a couple of minutes ago. Letting go of something doesn't mean you've given up, doesn't mean you lack ambition, doesn't mean you're old or boring or whatever it is. It just means that you're ready to reinvent that dream and reinvent how you want your life to look and what the world wants for you.

[Music]

Host (Ocea Ebel): Hello and welcome, how are you? I hope you're having a good week. My name is Ocea Ebel and this is my podcast Love Yourself Well. Today we are chatting to Sheridan Stewart and we have an insightful and fun conversation where Sheridan opens up on how you can feel and be enough right now by prioritising calm, slowing down and focusing on self-care wherever you are in your life.  Sheridan Stewart is an author, public speaker and broadcaster with the Australian Broadcasting Corporation. As a former FM radio presenter she has interviewed rock stars, celebrities, politicians and everyday people. Through her journalism and broadcasting she really lives the ethos, everybody has a story to tell, a message to share. Sheridan's first book I Am Enough is about her 90-day quest to contemplate what it means to have, do and be enough to feel fulfilled and content. Sheridan thank you for being here. I am filled with gratitude and can't wait for your pearls of wisdom. I would like to start off with a quote from your book, It's Day 1 and I already want more.I chuckled as I read about your desperate need for a new notebook because I am so that person and that leads me to ask why do you believe we don't see enough within ourselves or around us?

Sheridan: I think there's a couple of things at play and the first is the world that we've grown up in. So for our generation, it's capitalism, it's marketing and everything has sped up to the point where we are being bombarded with messages that say somebody out there on social media has this incredible life that we should have. So therefore if we don't have enough, we're worried that we're not doing enough. Often that comes down to very driven people too. Those of us that are passionate, whether you're passionate about a project or a career or your children or saving the world, whatever it is, that can drive us above and beyond. We've also been fed all those so-called self-help messages. You go to the gym and there's a picture of somebody climbing a mountain and it's like reach for the stars and it's like, oh my goodness it’s all so much. And then that leads to us that, well, I'm just not enough, I'm not good enough, I'll never be enough. Yeah, there's so much of that. And then of course all the advertising and that curated life by the way that you’re seeing on social media, it's curated. But that I mean it is crafted, all the stuff is cut out of it, you know? So when I popped something up, say on Instagram, I took a video out in the wild, literally in the wild. And the very first time I tried to post a no selfie, no makeup, you know, selfie type of video, it, this bizarre filter came up and gave me these huge lips and eyes. It was hilarious. It wasn’t what I was aiming at. And so the next day I walked through a bushwalk and there I was, bag s under my eyes and the little dips and the furrows and all of the things that happened in my life because I wanted to be part of what I think is a new movement which is love yourself as you are, you are enough. And therefore we can reach for greater heights within ourselves without comparison, without perfection.

Ocea:  Yeah, it changes and it's different for all of us. I feel learning to love and accept yourself as a layered process and when we're younger, we may come at it from different perspective. Our depth of self-love can be attached to external expectations and experiences rather than an acknowledgement that we are inherently worthy to be loved. And I do believe as we take those time out, those pauses, reflection times and we give ourselves an opportunity to dig a little deeper within ourselves, accept ourselves and I feel thats from where self-love really grows. And sometimes as we get older, we may have more time to really try and do those type of self-reflection activities and draw on our experiences instead of everything that's happening around us.

Sheridan: I think something that happens in our youth, what certainly did in mind is I was a little afraid to love all I was because I thought that if I did that, I would not push myself to be all I could be. I thought that if I loved the body I’m in, I would never lose weight, you know, I was afraid to be content. And now, I've created a 90-day challenge to find contentment, I recognise that you can let go and that doesn't mean you're giving up. I'm still an ambitious woman, so are you. We still have meaningful work to do in the world, but that doesn't have to be driven by the negative. You know, like when you're younger or I did any way, the idea was you put a photo on the fridge, your worst photo, your fattest photo, the terrible photo and you will stick Elle McPherson next to it and you know, it happens to be six feet taller than me. You know, I'm stupid comparison or, you know, somebody with all different body type and there's the bikini body that you're going for. And so, what do you feel about yourself? You feel bad and I can tell you negative motivation is nowhere near as powerful as loving yourself as motivation that says, look, I'm enough, I'm not as sharp as I am. You know, it doesn’t meant I don’t want to improve my health, my body, my career, it doesn't mean I'm not ambitious. It just means, I'm okay. I'm okay with it?

Ocea: Yes, yeah, definitely not taking that ambition from a place of lack, rather more of a desire of service and abundance, service to yourself, service to the world, a point of self love. And that was actually one of my questions. So, I’m glad you've led into that because I'm incredibly ambitious. So it's taken me a long while to realisea that I could still want more and you know, and you know one of my themes is live more, love more, create more, which is almost seems contradictory to the title of your book, but it's not, I promise because it is making sure that it comes from that place of love and self acceptance of being more of who I'm meant to be, not trying to be more of what someone else expects me to be or what you're referring to before, these norms that we've been conformed to be. On that note though, it is a fine dance because we can still get that negative self talk where one day we think we look fabulous and then the other days we're like, oh, okay, [laughter] or we might think, oh, I needed to have achieved that by now, especially as you get older, sometimes I really feel that people don't like their birthdays and their numbers, not so much for cause of the number or the birthday, but they're just not where they wanted to be in their life. They're not maybe haven’t achieved or met those expectations. So, you know, dancing that fine dance, what's your real take on feeling enough, but still wanting to achieve your goals? What tips would you give to someone that said, well, I am ambitious. How do I get that ambition from a place of service and love and abundance and really kind of move away from that fear and lack?

Sheridan: Yeah, oh, goodness me, a couple of things. The first is sometimes we have this idea and this is also something that was pushed in the so-called new age or self-development movement that we control our universe.

Ocea: Yeah. Oh, yeah. Oh, my gosh. I am going to interrupt you I am so sorry. I remember getting counselling once and the doctor said to me, because I said, you know, there must be a reason, there must be a lesson, it has to be something. I've created this and he just looked at me and he just said, 'Ocea, it's raining outside. Did you create that rain? Is there a lesson in that?' And I just went, 'No.' And he said to me, 'Not everything happens because of you and not because of every decision.' And I remember looking at him saying, 'I've got to throw away all those books now.' Yes. Sorry, to interrupt you. Go on.

Sheridan: That’s okay, not at all. We take it with a grain of salt and that was a perfect illustration of how I felt. I felt like, 'I'm so sorry, it's raining.' And you know, it's like, 'How could I control that? I couldn't. We show up in the world, we have our ideas, we have our dreams.' So number one is, there's what I want and my talents and skills and aptitude. Sometimes we have an ambition and not much aptitude for that particular thing, so that's awkward. But if you have an aptitude for something that you really want to do and you're getting that feedback from, you know, the opportunities that are coming your way, then it's looking for the place where what I want meets what the world wants from me. So I'm going to use an audacious example, Oprah Winfrey, is a remarkable actress and she's done a few films, of course, Colour Purple Award-winning film. She's done a couple of things over the years, Beloved, highly underrated, stunning film, but what the world needed her to be was a talk show host that was going to introduce the everyday public, particularly in America, but in general, introduce the Western world to psychology, to self-help, to the ability to examine their lives, even those who could not afford the books or the courses for the program. So the world needed something from Oprah. Oprah had the ability to deliver, acting became an on the side thing. So I think sometimes when opportunities come and they're a little left of centre of your dream, if you're too deadlocked into that, you know, it has to look like this, as opposed to going, "My dream will guide me and along the way I'll learn things." But you know, if I walk across a diamond in the path, I'm not going to step over it because I'm not looking for a diamond today, why is there a diamond in my path? That's not my dream. It's like, "Oh my goodness, there’s a diamond in my path. Pick it up take it. You know, take, hold it, find out what it may be able to do for you. And the other part is depending on where you're at in your life, but I would suggest this happens multiple times where we get to different crossroads is to check that your dream is up to date with who you are today because it can be hard to let go of a past dream. You know, there was a time I wanted to be a rock star. Did I practice my guitar? No, I just wanted to magically be a rock star. You know, did I train my voice it was timber, I wasn't very good at staying intune no, it was a bit pitchy. Did I do anything about it? No, I just magically wanted to be that thing without even really doing a whole lot about it. And I think that's one of the things that we do younger. So check that your dream is actually in line with who you are today. And if it's out of date, don't be afraid to let go, let go, letting go is not the same as giving up. And I think that was a fear of my youth, you know, reflecting on what we were talking about a couple of minutes ago, letting go of something doesn't mean you've given up, doesn't mean you lack ambition, doesn't mean you're old or boring or whatever it is. It just means that you're ready to reinvent that dream and reinvent how you want your life to look and what the world wants from you.

Ocea: Yeah, I think that's really a crystal clear way, I should say, of looking at something where it's not a, you're not failing, you haven't wasted your time because while you've been moving towards what you thought would be your dream, you've still had beautiful lessons, you've still got something that you can bring forward. And it helps you create a new identity of who you have to become to get what you really want to get. And that leads me into in your book, which we haven't named it, I have enough, I do enough, I am enough. You talk about affirmations and what I really loved about your reference to affirmations is exactly that, make them believable because so often we're hearing affirmations, which are just so far away from who we are right now and we throw them up in the air and we say, well, affirmations don't work. So could you just share a little bit more about how you've worked out, how to still use affirmations because I really believe in them, but make them believable until you grow into maybe some of the, some of the ones that we see on the walls of the gym. [Laughter]

Sheridan: Absolutely, absolutely. And look, this is, this is something I am passionate about. Affirmations can work, they do work. I even want you to write a book with the title of affirmations, why they don't work, but how they can. Because they really can, but we just alluded to when we make it too far away, what's the, what's the language warning on this podcast, Ocea? Can I be a little bit cheeky?

Ocea: Oh, I don't have one, but I can always add it. [Laughter]

Sheridan: Not going to be super crude but if your strongest reaction is bullshit, you know, if you go, oh, I am a size eight superstar with a million dollars in the bank and that's just my spare change. You know, so you have all these audacious things and you've got a 25 year old, Elle McPherson or whoever you thought you should look like on your fridge and every time you look at that as an affirmation, all it does is make you feel not enough lacking. All it does is remind you of what you don't have the money you don't have the body you don't have whatever it is. Then what are you actually affirming? You are affirming you are not that and the fear has all come up. I never will be that. I've tried and failed every diet blah blah blah. So the way to make an affirmation work is bring it back to believable. So I often start with willingness and that means, looking at what I'm not willing to do, there have been times where I know what I should eat, how I should exercise. What's good for me? That if I love myself, I do these things and ironically when I do them, I love them. I walk the dog this morning in the sunshine, loved it when the sun's not shining, not so much motivation. [Laughter] You know, but I'm like, I should go out no matter what conditions and just push myself through this like an athlete and I'm not an athlete. It's just a stark reality. So I bring it back to the willingness and first start first, I tend to look at what I'm not willing to do. And I've even had to pin right back to, I'm willing to become willing to do what it takes to, you know, having healthier body. So for example, I think the example I used in the book was that I'd look through years of journaling and I saw the same affirmation, Ocea it was so embarrassing. It was like, you know, I had the, and for whatever reason at the time, an Australian size 12, which I think is a US size eight, that was my idea of perfection. So I, I think it was too curvy to be smaller. So I went for that. So, you know, whatever your version of that is, I am this, I have this, I am abundant, I have all this money in the bank, et cetera, et cetera. And what it came down to was coming up with something that resonated with me right now. And that resonates with me. I thought I might change it as I go along, but the resonation and  what actually works for me is, now I'm going to go blank on it and have actually talking about it, which is crazy because like, you know, I do this every second day. So it's really today, I choose the foods, thoughts and actions that ensure a healthy body. And I just, enough energy and creative inspiration, something like that, a version of that. So these are the, let it, you know, why do I want this body? It's not about what size I am. It's about having the energy and healthfulness to go through my day and show up in the world and give what I have to give. I want to be able to sleep well so that I have that, again, that energy and time to be creative. So from there, it's also, I choose, it puts it back in my control, its not I am, I'm not I am a work in progress. I'm getting closer, but you know, it's like, ah, each choice I make today creates my tomorrow. So it's, it's a way of reminding myself that if I want these things, have to actually do something about it. And that's what was missing when I look back, you know, to the 90s and affirmations on sticky notes on the mirror and, you know, starting with those with girlfriends and their affirmation was, it will be easy and effortless. And there's a little voice in the back of my mind going, isn't something worth doing, worth making an effort for? Why would it be effortless? Nothing comes without effort and action, some comes people want to a lottery win and look, if that's your karma, half your luck, but it doesn't always bring happiness. There is some very interesting work being done in the field of psychology at the moment that shows that once our basic needs are met, we can pay the rent or mortgage we are ahead and we've got enough to get around. So we're not, you know, um, scraping for simple survival. Once we've got that much money, happiness, nothing to do with money, you can have zillions. It's actually how you spend your time, the actions you take.

Ocea: Yes, that's right. Yes, that is right. The whole happiness project and the things around that are really quite interesting with the dollar value that they came out with to give us happiness. So yeah, that is very, very true. And so what I'm getting is that with the affirmations, it's about making them believable do you find ..

Sheridan: Believable and actionable

Ocea: Actionable, that was the word I was looking for. So they're really like an outcome statement, aren't they? You know, you want something and this is how you want it to be. So it's reaffirming that you need to be a certain way to achieve that. So how do you then make actions aligned with your affirmations? How do you decide then this is my affirmation and then how am I going to act out that in a way that kind of still creates that belief?

Sheridan:  I think it's bringing the actions in alignment with the statement, which means sometimes bringing them closer to you. So I'll give you a really recent example. I was asked to cover breakfast radio. So I was getting up at three in the morning, Ocea. I'm not a morning person. I'm not a great sleeper. I've been on breakfast several times in radio in my life and I really enjoy the show and then come around at about 11 o'clock in the morning the rest of the day. I just don't like myself. I feel demotivated, exhausted. You know, it's just not worth it for my mental health, my emotional health. However, I said yes. And I did better than usual, but one of the things I did was look Sheridan. You are speaking to myself in the third person, he was a little bit weird. What I decided was recognise that I am in a transition. I still love broadcasting and I am doing that part time because I am becoming and I am now an author and that requires a fair bit of attention. There's not just the writing, there's also the business of being an author, which I know almost nothing about. So I'm a baby on social media and things like that. Please follow me, but I don't know how to make it. I don't know how to make it happen. So there's a lot that I have to learn and what I decided to do because I'd agreed to do this show for one or two weeks, turned out to be six weeks, which was a bit of a surprise, came out on the roster. Yeah, I don't know. Sheridan will be doing breakfast for six weeks. I'm like, oh my goodness. There were benefits. But what I wrote in my journal every single day is, what step can I take? No matter how small that will keep momentum going in the direction I desire. So for that, for me, that meant the direction of becoming a full-time author and speaker and podcaster and all these things and go that world. And by taking even 15 minutes to write each day, instead of the all or nothing, and this is where the book came from. I am enough came from this background or this lifelong sense of all or nothing when I did something it had to be bigger than Ben Hur. I wasn't just going to, or you remember the Fringe festival days, it wasn't just going to be a show with a couple of people that had to be in a cast of thousands in the best venue we could want and with millions of shows and, you know, and it was fantastic. It's great to be that aspirational, but it's also exhausting. And then I would fall in a heap at the end of the season and swear I'd never do it again. And then of course, you know, out come, the emails, it's time to put your application in and off I go again. And unfortunately, particularly when I came to the ABC, which, you know, it's sort of like the Holy Grail, it's meaningful radio. I could do deeper interviews. It wasn't just itsy bitsy titsy in the morning, but another song from the 70s and 80s that you heard 15 minutes ago. That was fun too. But now it was intellectually inspiring and deep, but I had a little bit of a chip on my shoulder because I came from a background of commercial rock radio, of comedy, of the arts and filmmaking. I wasn't a hardcore journalist. I wasn't Leigh Sales. I wasn't Annabel Crabb. I wasn't somebody who had that background. I had other things to offer and I learnt that as I grew into the role. But it wasn't really me. It was the core of it or all the belief I had the chip on the shoulder meant that I overdid everything. I said yes for everything. And it wasn't really until I pressed pause when I was writing. I'm enough in doing this 90-day challenge. I set myself that I started to seek my part in being over driven and over working. I blamed whoever I could for feeling exhausted the time, but really a lot of it was me. Not all of it. It was me meeting the circumstances and the situation and then we go into the black summer bush fires and we're doing emergency broadcasting and where it was switched on all of the time. And some of us live in that state, especially if you spend a lot of time doom scrolling or on social media or you watch and listen to every news bulletin, you can end up in the perpetual state of alertness. You know where we're ready for the next disaster to strike. And we went right from black summer, which started up here where I'm at the moment in Queensland in winter. So it went for a really long time and it went through all the areas where I've lived and worked. You know, when I came back to South Australia when we still had our property in the Adelaide Hills, I went for a drive. All the things I'd been talking about and talking to and holding space for on the air, keeping doing my small part and keeping those communities safe was just right in my face, the absolute devastation of wildlife. And then no sooner had the last fire been put out in February March that we rolled into the COVID-19 pandemic. As somebody who was already over-driven to prove herself a people pleaser. Sheridan wants to fix the world and look after everybody. That sort of pushed me into a level of or pushed my already very driven self into a level of overdrive. So learning to press pause was essential.

Ocea: And you know it's such a high level of emotion. So many things coming at us bombarding us like you're saying all at once. And I mean, you work in the news. So you're seeing and you're hearing it on repeat just as many people choose to through social media and other mediums. The same stories are coming at us over and over again. So how do you think we can set those type of boundaries around ourselves to protect ourselves from that? Because sometimes it can be really hard because people don't want to miss out on the next take on the same story. They feel like they need to know it from every angle to be part of the conversation. So how do you feel? Because for me, I don't watch the news. I don't really do a lot of scrolling on social media. I know what it's doing chemically to my brain. I'm like, I'm opting out. I do what I have to. [Laughter] And in saying that, I still do follow accounts that make me feel a little bit uncomfortable because I want to remember that I live in a beautiful bubble, not saying lifes perfect. But I live in a beautiful bubble and there are some things outside of the world that are not so beautiful. But ultimately, how, you know, we're saying before that we have to come, ambition has to come from a place of abundance and love. But how do we set those boundaries to make that happen when what it can appear that there's so many bad things happening around us?

Sheridan: Yeah, it's a complex yet very simple answer we need to press pause. If you love watching the news, but you know that it's not good for you, look at the reality, how quickly does the story change? That's something's changed very quickly. But even let's use the case of COVID-19 where there was, you know, this was something new, the epidemiologists, the greatest brains and around the world were trying to get a grip on it. And I got to interview them and many of them said, we don't know much yet, but this is what we know today. And then the next day, something else would happen. And then this is causing conflict in, listenership, in our communities and our friendship groups. Because some people are going, they don't know what they're talking about. Well, yes, it was new and nobody knew what they were talking about. And then some people started making it up and then come the conspiracy theories. And is there truth in some of those quite likely there is, you know, there's this big heavy thing. And we hadn't been really thinking in this lifetime like that, you know, if that they have of course been wars, but they've been off in the distance. And suddenly here is something that is causing restriction and impacting in our daily life. And we've been told what we can and can't do. And we don't like that because we've never had it before. We haven't grown up in restriction. But, yes, so a really interesting thing to look at. But the reality is if you broke it down, once a day your chief health officer would come and tell you the absolute latest. And even if something changed and they learned a bit more by the end of the day, they didn't change the rules till the next day. So you could actually get your information once a day. Now, if you're a real news-hound and you absolutely love it, then you know, pick twice a day, you listen to something in the morning, something in the evening. If you like to go deep, you know, by all means watch four corners or, you know, one of those shows that goes deep. But 24 hour news cycle, having it just rattling around your house for company. Like, choose the company you have. Choose the company. And yes, by all means, important to stay informed. So there is that. But the other thing I guess I wanted to bring up, Ocea, is that when anything becomes our sole identity, we are putting out those at risk. So for me, being a broadcaster during difficult times became such a predominant part of my identity that I felt like I couldn't turn off. And the reality is, I'm not on the boat. And I'm not the only one. There's hundreds, thousands of people doing the role I do. Yes, it's important. And yes. But for me to be truly present, I need to be well-rested. So even in a situation like that, you'll remember times as a parent. And as a parent, this is another time where it can take over our whole identity. And look for a little while, it does, and it probably should, you know, just given birth and especially with its complications or things to juggle or deal with. Being a carer, of course, we put our own life aside largely. But even then, if we don't take some time for ourselves, if we think we're superhuman, if we think we don't need sleep, if our whole identity gets caught up in that caring and giving, well, what's going to happen, you know? Like it's a sure far halfway to burnout. So what I learnt to do was press pause. Press pause between activities. You know, sometimes, absolutely, you haven't got much control over that. So you press pause when you can. But in most of our lives, a lot of my inner drive can just, it's like, calm the farm sister, you've just done, for example a podcast, you've just been on a podcast. I think for X amount of time, it would be crazy for me to finish our conversation, Ocea, and think that I really need to do the 20 things on my list that I haven't got done today. It's like, take it break.

Ocea: You know, I grew up with a definite hustle culture. You were going to sleep when you were dead. You had to get everything done. Back in the day, if I had a project that needed to be finished, I would not sleep until it was done. So for example, when the kids were little, I had a ceiling rose that I wanted painted. For three days, I stayed awake. I would put them to bed. I would go into my painting studio. I would paint and gild. It was quite a large piece. And then I would go back at seven because I knew that they’d be waking up. I'd walk back in the house at seven a.m. I'd get ready for the day. Take them to school, take them to kindy, go back into the studio paint. And I did that for three days on short blacks. And now I look back and I think there is no way that I would drink that much coffee and survive. I just wouldn't. I'd fall apart. And I look back and I just think, I was so unkind to myself. And that was because I was distracting myself from things that were happening in my life that I didn't want to deal with. So I wasn't really filled with a lot of self love, which I think is something when people are consuming all the time. It's easier to consume than it is to what you're saying is pause. So with that pause, what's become really big in my life over the last few years is mindfulness. So I wanted to ask you, how do you see mindfulness as part of feeling enough? So I'm not talking about a sitting down to a formal meditation. I love a good medi, but I'm not talking about that in this sense. I'm talking about practicing mindfulness as being present with the people that you're with and all the tasks that you're doing, kind of getting into that beautiful flow and releasing that monkey mind that has us thinking about everything that we should be doing or where we should be or how we should be doing it instead of just embracing where we are. So how do you relate being present to being doing and feeling enough?

Sheridan: Number one for me is time in nature. Time in nature teaches us so much. If you can go for a walk and just pay attention, walk mindfully, you know,

Ocea: Leave your phone behind or just put it in your pocket?

[Laughter]

Sheridan:  You could leave it behind. But if you think that, you know, there's something terribly urgent that could happen, take it with you. Sometimes I will listen to a podcast, but I do try and give myself time where it's silent and I can just hear what's going on around me. And there's a beautiful story in my book which came after the, the, the big floods we had a couple of years ago right around the nation, but particularly in Southeast Queensland. And a friend of mine had gone out after these floods just to check the roads and noticed something that she thought was dead in the road. And when she went up, it was a platypus and it wasn't breathing in her fingers and gave it CPR.

Ocea: That’s so cute.

[Laughter]

Sheridan: and it coughed up the water and got up and blinked at her and looked up and waddled off." And you know, that story, so uplifting, there's another story where my love and I came home one night and we were both so exhausted and all he wanted to do was smoke because he was a smoker at the time and all I wanted to do was eat because that's what I did to feel better about myself, we pull into the driveway and there in the, the, the headlights is this beautiful little animal and she's, and she's grooming herself and, and her bellies, you know, got all this soft, creamy fur and then I noticed it's undulating because she's got babies in her pouch and she was a beautiful little goodness me. I want to say, "Numbat," she wasn't a "Numbat."

Ocea: Was it a badger?

[Laughing]

Sheridan: No it wasn’t a badger. We don’t have badgers in this country. I don’t know why I have blank, but she, that they're an animal that, all the people in their backyards, because they dig holes, but anyway, it'll come back to me and I'll name it. Just this beautiful little animal and, and we just both stopped and I forgot that I needed to pee. Before that I was blasting and said, "I'm got to get the toilet, I'm got to eat, got to eat!" And he's like, "I'm going to get the smoke, you'd be on a plane for hours and I'm like, get in the car, you can smoke when you are home" And instead we sat there and just watched her until she headed off. She's a bandicoot that’s what she is.

Ocea: Bandicoot. That’s what it is. I remembered it started with a B.

[Laughing]

Sheridan: The story's called Norman Brown because one of the wonderful things in my job as a radio presenter is if I get curious about something I can call the specialist. So, Ocea, I rang this specialist in bandicoots. And I mustn’t have been listening or paying attention to the audio, the sound of the phone and I said, "Normal, Norman Brown!" And he said, "No a Normal Brown or a Northern Brown?" I think it was, a Northern Brown. But yeah, we named the bandicoot that lived in that backyard, even though it was female, Norman Brown.

Ocea: Oh, that's sweet.

Sheridan: I think it's just those moments in nature and on an everyday basis, you come back full of endorphins, you know? Like nature gives us something back and I get to the ocean when I can because there's something about negative ions and science that I don't understand. But even at my most exhausted and strung out, if I throw myself in the ocean, I am a different woman when I come out 5, 10, 20 minutes later. So that would be number one and the other is to do something that is mindful. Now this all depends on who you are and what your goals are or what your natural thing is. I've spent a lot of time in my head. So in writing, I'm in my head, in, you know, broadcasting, I'm in my head, a lot of it is very intellectual and takes that sort of focus. So I find doing art, which I hadn't done in 10 years, you know, ironically even though I was doing that as part of my life when you first met me, Ocea, I hadn't touched any of them in over a decade and I find that certain art practices allow for that level of mindfulness where I'm focused, but I'm not having to think about what I'm doing. I've done that, you know, so at the moment I'm doing lino-cut and I just sit there and also the other thing is if I don't focus, I stack myself. Very easy to do. You look worried then, she does what. Yeah, it's like, you know, if I'm not being mindful, I will prod myself with a relatively sharp tool and it's not fun. So there that's at least that I personally do, but in the beginning when I was really sort of strung out and tired and wired, I would just sit on my back deck and look at nature and I learnt that I can press pause and have a moment of nothingness and it feels like I'm doing nothing but it gives me something back, you know, I'm starting to, well, replenish myself and it's, you know, like it might feel like you're having a break and getting some relief by doom scrolling or watching endless episodes on a streaming service or television, but really what you're doing is it's like junk food. Yes, every now and then, it's okay, but to have it as your main diet, you're not going to get the health and energy and you're not going to be treating yourself with real love, you know, really loving this life and the reality is no matter how you felt about your lot in life, your genetic lot in life, for me, I put on weight just by thinking about food and I think about food a lot, but this is one of my challenges. But, you know, the reality is, and my book is, is dedicated to a beautiful friend who's passed on, Mel, who had not one, but two terminal illnesses and, you know, recognising that me complaining about the state of my thighs and feeling guilty about, you know, having that let myself get into, you know, bad shape or whatever it is, is kind of ridiculous when, you know, she was making the most of every moment she felt half well enough to do and be the very best person she could and she always brought joy into the room and we can't, well, I'm going to describe to her at her memorial services, Pollyanna on crack. We can't all be that, but we can take, we can take something from that and go, you know, what, there's cup-half full people, there's cup-half empty people, Mel, I like to say, you know, if there was an empty cup, she would look for the molecule of water that was somewhere in that cup, and she would focus on that and when she was really ill, she talked to me about, you know, there are some days I can't talk on the phone, or I can't even breathe properly, she had, to terminal illnesses motor neuron disease and cancer, but she said, notice the light streaming through the window and just focus on that, you know, the sunlight coming in. So I think in that way we can look to nature and find those little moments that, you know, there's a new trend at the moment they're calling them glimmers, you know, those little moments, it doesn't have to always be the big things, you know, it's like, I want to go to Disneyland today, but I can like, right, you know, looking at past the computer, you know, wow, there's some blue in the sky and there hasn't been much of it, lately there has been an awful lot of rain and I'm noticing, you know, the moss and the air plants and oh my goodness, you know, this tree that I planted four years ago is now about 15 feet high, like, when did that happen? So that gives me something.

Ocea: Yeah. I did really get a sense of Mel's joy even going through such a, such a challenging and I'm going to say tragic and when any, any woman gets diagnosed with a disease like that and has a, you know, a family and people loving and caring for them, it is a tragedy in my eyes and, you know, a beautiful soul is missed from us, but I did get the sense of joy from her even through those tough times. She may not have liked it, but she was still joyful for what she had and really had that capacity to be, to sit with her and be and from what you're sharing your book, not to distract herself, but to be fully present with those she was with and the experiencing that she was having through that challenging time. So I think that's a really special, a special story in your book because exactly like you, we have this comparisonitis that we have through, you know, when I was growing up, it was Dolly Magazine, but now it's the Instagram. So I feel that real strong sense of being, when we can, being full and whole is just wonderful and it's inspirational to watch and through your book of a woman doing that when she is really fighting to be with the people that she loves for as long as she can. So that's a really special story in your book and it took me a really long time to learn how to be. I was always distracting myself and I must admit my husband showed me how to just be and I used to think, what's he doing? He's so lazy. Why is he just being still? Why is he not doing something? I had all these thoughts flowing through my head and it took me a real long time. I would get, I would sit next to him and I'd get agitated on the inside because being busy was so important to me. Like I, what do I, what's something? I'm sure there's something that has to be done here and it took me so, so long. I'm, I'm much, much better now at being present and still and I did find that just being with myself increased how I felt about myself, it like my self worthometer  increased just kind of noticing and being still was really powerful so that, that pause you referr to through our chat today and in your book is really, really powerful. However, sometimes I get a little bit of residue, sometimes I think some things are ingrained, so deep that every now and again, this little voice pops up and just says, what are you doing? What are you doing? You should be doing the dishes. You should have mopped the floor again. You should, you know, why are you not, why are you not writing something? Why are you not creating something? And I have to really stop and that's when I call in nature. I just go out to my little patch of green lawn and I take my shoes off and I, I put my feet on the lawn and I breathe and I don't think I'm alone, don't think that, you know, we've all mastered this whole zen all the time thing. I really believe that we, we do our best. So you do give us some ideas on how to pause in your book. So I really want you to, if you can, just many highlight a couple of those and a couple of the mind set, shit mind set shifts. So I said mind set shits, mind set shifts that you believe can really impact us in moving from that constant. Even if we're physically still having to constantly be doing something in our mind, just to kind of have that real pause that you were, you referred to when you're, referring to before. So what, what are your practical tips for that?

Sheridan:  Wow. I know that's a big one for a walk.

Ocea: But if there was one, one thing, yeah, going for a walk,

Sheridan:  is putting a pause between activity. So I used to roll from one thing to another to another, thinking I'm some here, somehow clear this to do list. And I'd be over focused in some areas. And meanwhile, and I write about this, I call it the shit list in the background. There's things not done for years, mail, not opened, bills not paid, stuff's going pear shaped. And then of course, when did that all come to me after I'd done my very important job and my very busy, what life and my essential tasks in ticking all the boxes, it would come to me when I lay down to go to sleep at night so I'd, you know, and also red flags were going off in my health, you know, my mother died of breast cancer. And I hadn't had breast check. I had an itchy spot in my back. And here we are in Queensland with the unenviable title of, you know, the world's capital of skin cancer and my stepfather died from melanoma. He lived to a great age, but, I had the cautionary tales. We're not just talking about, you know, a little red riding hood, and fairytales from childhood in my very real life. I'd lost people, you know, Mel said, I wish I'd, you know, when I started to get some symptoms, I wish I'd checked sooner instead of just dismissing things that, you know, so I had every form of motivation. If that's what you're looking for to, to crack on with things, but I guess now if something's on my mind that I haven't done, then I need to give it a little bit of attention. If I notice that quickening of nervous energy that is just beyond the enthusiasm for life that I often feel like, I think it's important to be in enthusiatic and it's important to have dreams and goals, but when it's getting a kind of nervey edge to it, that's a sign that I'm going into overdrive and I need to press pause and stop. And then learning how to do things differently. So I think I write a chapter called happily distracted, I am a bit distracted now because I'm worried my dog's going to start licking its ass because that's what he likes to do. On camera, I think I will move the camera this way for a moment, don’t embarrass yourself or me. [Laughter] Where I talk about working in a way where I'm happily distracted, now I can't do that every day, it's important Ocea that quality that you and I are both harnessed at times, where it's essential, we can step up, go into hyper focus, get shit done, tick the list, do the big audacious thing, but not back to back. So I can have everything, we just can't have it all of the time. So I'm thinking of you and your gilded rose ceiling, I mean, I'm not quite sure what you're four or five year olds needed in that gilded rose ceiling or why it became so important  now you probably look at it and go Ocea, that can wait for when I've got an easy day, it's a project, I want to do it's a creative project, we have a right to do it in a way where I actually enjoy it instead of all these things, like even things that people in the outside world would have certainly not have them, they're like, oh, you know, you're having so much fun with your friends, it's like, it's not fun when you feel obligated to see people and you don't really have time to sit with them, but you squeeze them in any way and you put your own rest and recovery on the back burner because you feel, you know, you've got some people pleasing thing going on, it's all about learning to read yourself and, you know, for a while I had to take a full break from work while I investigated those health issues, fortunately, there was nothing super untoward, but if they had been and I'd not done it or I'd let it go for years, which I already had, then I could have been in a much more difficult situation. And from there I had a family member who was dealing with some health issues, so a combination of them, me, me caring for them, and getting an international book deal, I went and pitched to my boss that perhaps I could go part-time for a year and I'm in my second year of that and absolutely loving it. So I love my work again, I love my job again, but I don't need to be doing something all of the time to feel good about doing it.

Ocea: So do you feel that just giving yourself that permission slip to step back and slow down has been really handy for you?

Sheridan: Yeah, absolutely. And more recently, I can be quite an intense person like I know that, you know, on air and on stage, I bring the fun, it's what I'm good at, but I'll forget to actually have fun. So in the book, I talk about sort of reclaiming the missing music, I'd worked in music radio, worked in the music industry, but it was work. And here I was at the ABC and what went missing for a while out of necessity, you know, it's vital to point out the core of what that organisation does is news and bringing people, what they need to know, particularly during an emergency, I've had back to back emergencies and I started treating my whole life like I was in that, that vortex of like, everything was so incredibly important. And I'm married to a musician and I haven't heard music, for I don't know how long. I wasn't playing it for fun, you know, so going back to creating a playlist and they say that music is most effective when you pick tracks that reflect how you want to feel, not how you feel. So if you're going through a difficult time, it's, you know, and I love Nick Cave, but you know, I like this poignant, you know, sort of almost melancholic dark voices, but at that time, I needed to be walking on sunshine. I actually needed the opposite. I needed the real good tracks of my youth because that was, that's how I needed that balance. And when I started studying it, you know, the science says that that dopamine hit we get of anticipating the great chorus, here it comes, you know, here it comes, here it comes. Oh, do do do do do. Um, my Mum had Neil Diamond's Hot August night, so his live album. I think it's all right. I do her dance and around the lounge room, the anticipation of that chorus, but because it taps back into a happy memory for me, it doubles the dopamine hit. So yeah, listening to some great music can, can be a way of doing that, taking yourself out of your everyday life, be a tourist in your own town. It doesn't even cost anything much. Maybe a little bit of petrol, but maybe you get on the bus, you know, there's libraries full of books that you can reading, they run courses that are 90% of courses run in libraries are completely free. There are events going on in our communities that we can tap into without going broke. And yet we can sit and stew in our own angst. So there is, there is so much that we can, um, avail ourselves of if we can press pause and I love the word you used a little earlier, Ocea, which is give ourselves permission, you know, grab permission. It's okay to have fun. It's okay to have a breath. The world is not going to end. I got COVID recently. Now I was a unicorn hadn’t had COVID, it had gone on for so long. I was never going to get COVID, you know? So off I go to, you know, a much bigger city with a much denser population. I get COVID. I was sick. I was gone. I was meant  to be gone five days and I was gone 15 and I came back, well, I just picked up where I left off. It's okay. You know, I didn't, you know, I used to have a fear that if I ever stop everything, I would go backwards and someone else might jump into my, you know, my very special place in the world or the place I wanted to be in the world. Whereas, now it's like, I can press pause whether it's to walk the dog for a couple of minutes or to recover from something or just have a, I had a holiday last year, a real holiday, a holiday that didn't involve visiting relatives or caring for someone or catching up with people for the first real holiday of more than a couple of days for the first time in nearly 20 years. That is ridiculous.

Ocea: Yeah, that is ridiculous. Isn't that when you think about it 20 years?

Sheridan: Yeah, it shifted, it shifted something significantly in me. So there was the book, there was a 90-day challenge, that, then a journey that has grown into, I do less now, Ocea, but I am more, I enjoy myself more.

Ocea: I totally agree. So when I say, um, live more, love more, create more, it's actually all by doing less by being more, more focused,

Sheridan: Absolutely.

Ocea: more, more zoned into what you want instead of believing that you have to be everything to everybody, including yourself all the time and, and very much, I mean, I had my, my, I've got my first round of children when I was very young, you know, 18 for my first one, 43 for my last one. So very different times in your life, there are two in between. So there's four of them. So I look back and I think when I was younger, I really believed that I could have it all and I do, I totally agree with you, but I had to have it all at once and, and I failed, dismally, failed dismally, whereas now as an older mum, I realise, I can still have it all, but it just comes in different allotments throughout the week. It doesn't happen all in the same hour and, and bringing that fun back what you were saying before. I think that's a really important thing because it can be so easy as we get older or we have a high level of responsibility to families, businesses, careers that we, we lose the fun. We, we forget to have fun. We have small laughs every now and again, but we're not stopping like I see the young children and having those really big belly laughs and you know tears rolling down your eyes with your friends and again that gives you that beautiful dopamine that you're talking about as much as, you know, nature and all these other wonderful things can is just having that fun and and bringing that fun into your every, every day, every day. I mean, I gave myself a challenge many years ago because I thought, I'm so not fun anymore. And every day I said, you have to do something that's fun. So I did all these crazy things to get out of my comfort zone and it really made a permanent shift.

Sheridan: Because how often we think to make a shift, we have to do hard work. We have to work out at a gym to, you know, to, to make a shift in our body. We have to do something hard and we have to knuckle down and I catch myself in that, come on, you've got to try harder, you know, you've got to drop, why did you add that to the day? You would have lost more weight this week. You know, they're echo, you know, the old thinking is it's really, but I just look at them as echoes now. And when it comes to failure, so for this book, I am enough where I reflect on what it means to have enough, do enough and be enough and I do 90-day challenge, I set myself three challenges. And at the end of it, I only succeeded in two of them and the third one was an epic failure. So the first one was no cafes and restaurants for 90 days because I saw money slipping through my fingers and I saw myself regaining weight that I'd kept off for the first time in my adult life. It was coming back and all the habits that went with it. Number two was no non-essential spending because, you know, I saw an inheritance starting to slip through my fingers and when I investigated, I think account, I've been is great acts of generosity that were perhaps a little grandiose. You can come from a money background, it just felt good to send all my friends, flowers and buy them things. And so those two I succeeded, the third one was to go home from work on time and that was an epic failure. But what I learnt is that that's where I had the most to learn. So when we try to do something and fail, when we can look at it with that compassion and go, "Oh, that job that meant so much to me and still does," that's where I had the most to learn. And I think in terms of being enough, I love the word surrender and the word surrender means letting go of something lower in order to let something higher have focus. So it's not about, you know, as I said earlier, letting go is not giving up. Surrendering, so letting go of things that aren't as important and that often I held as important to me in my head have created that place. So now I, you know, I've got this list of things on my list each day and, you know, the reality is if I can tick one or two off and then just transfer the next day or the next week, you know, it's enough. It's enough that I've got an international book deal. The podcast will come when the podcast comes, but, you know, there's that part of me that's always going to be reaching for the next thing and I just need to be checking with myself, you know, and the reality is I have enough, I might want more. Do I need more? Probably not. Can I have more? Eventually. But if I let go of the things that aren't important, I can have more of what is important, which I think is the essence of what you talk about, Ocea, when it comes to loving yourself well and I mean that both in a physical loving yourself to wellness, but also loving yourself well, like being good at loving yourself, like that is one thing worth mastering. And if you can treat yourself like you would your best friend, like the way I've talked to myself in the past, my self talk is abusive quite frankly. Anyone else would be in therapy if I talk to them. Wait, I should have been in therapy. I have been in therapy. I have been in therapy. You wouldn't talk to your child that way or you'd hope not to. And when they see it slip out, it's often with the person you love the most, your partner, because you feel safe with them, but it irritates you like, why are you breathing? You know? Yeah, my husband was so good at falling asleep. I just lied there in resentment, like, how dare you fall asleep straight away as I lay away with insomnia for hours. So letting things be enough, you know, recognising that most people listening to this podcast, the fact that you're in a position to stop and listen to this podcast or buy my book or follow Ocea’s advice means you are in a fortunate position indeed. And to let that be enough, yeah, letting that be enough is actually the key to further enrichment in your life, more fun, more pleasure, more love, more connection, more compassion, including self compassion.

Ocea: On day 60, you wrote a little night in your journal and your reference it in the book and you say, self care has gone from I should to I could to I want to. How did you get to that point?

Sheridan: I think by noticing and by allowing myself to stop pouring things in to actually, you know, sit with so that the whole, you know, no cafes and restaurants know non essential spending and attempting to limit my work to the hours where I was actually getting paid were about recognising that I had enough or hoping that it would be enough. And by pressing pause, I started to notice this shift. And I think part of it was the commitment to 90 days, which is a whole season we are meant to change in the seasons. But you know, often I started something if I couldn't do it perfectly, I'd throw the baby out with the bath water and think I'll start again on Monday diets or classic for that or anything that you think you're failing at. But I, having that commitment over 90 days, it started as things I felt that I should do. I felt that I was spending too much and eating too much. So it didn't necessarily start from the most positive place, but it became something positive where, oh, I'm not shoulding all over myself now. I'm thinking maybe I could get better at sleep, you know, a better nights sleep. Maybe I could let go of a couple of things. And then eventually it became more desirable for me to take positive action, including rest, including pressing pause. So I sort of stepped out of the addiction, like I think we get very addicted to, and this is part of that thing I was talking about earlier about where we put our identity. I was very addicted to being, she who said yes to everything, being a great friend and being there for people no matter what, even if it meant sacrificing my own wellness, it was a little bit nutty.

Ocea: Yeah

[Laughter]

Sheridan: A little bit nutty. So I started to want relaxation time. You know, yesterday was a Sunday. And because my hours are still a little, you know, they're not your traditional nine to five and you'd know that in your entrepreneurial type of business, Ocea, that, you know, the danger when we work for ourselves is that it leaks all over all of our life, all of our time, you know? I thought, oh, this will be fun. I'll be able to work for myself from a few years ago, taking a break from radio between, you know, working for rock radio and doing the ABC and I took that break. I became even more driven. So I've got to do something now. I'm going to make this work and I won't just do the fringe. I'll do the fringe, the art exhibitions and the this and the that. And, you know, like I've piled the plate so high and I remember going to one life coach, one time it’s as hilarious and she said, so, you know, many hours you're putting into this each week and I came back full of pride at about 80. And I really thought, Ocea, I thought she was going to congratulate me and she said, so what's a normal week work? I like 40 as if that's all they do. And she said, well, when, what do you think realistic? What could you do it in? I said, oh, maybe I could get it done in 60 and I'm still waiting for the congratulations. And I was just, that's how out of wack I was. You know, I didn't know how to have a day off. Now, every now and then I have a day where I don't tick anything on the list. Admittedly, I've got that type of personality that's quite driven so those days are rare, but I do take time in each day, which is not about ticking those boxes or getting something done. And if I note my mind going, oh, you should it's just like jot it down, you'll get to it when you can and more importantly, when you do it. And from there, I'll you look in this one, learning to ride the energy because there's a really big difference between procrastinating and actually just not being ready for something. Yeah, it's just not the right time.

Ocea: I totally agree. And I feel that it's exactly what you said about seasons and it doesn't necessarily have to be 90 days. And this whole pressure for balance is to me just another, another thing on you to do is another stress. It's just a recognition of sometimes I'll be working more, sometimes I'll be working less, sometimes I'll be resting more, sometimes I'll be resting less and just kind of flowing with the as long as you're coming from that place, we said at the very beginning of our conversation, that place of abundance of service of clarity, not of fear and lack, you tend to the stress is different. It's, you know, what do they call it? U stress or something, you know, the perception of the stress is different. So, you know, biochemically, it's a very different experience. But that does lead me into you through your book, you share a lot of your personal stories. And do you believe that vulnerability will we allow ourselves to be vulnerable? We really allow ourselves to be more true to ourselves, which then heightens our self worth, it makes us feel enough.

Sheridan: I think you've nailed it. That's beautiful, Ocea, yes. And the feedback I've had, seriously, when I first pressed send because I did end up in a situation where I had to kind of write under pressure because there were some changes in the publishing house I worked with and they were great to work with, there was this kind of gap and then we were low on time and I'm writing 'Ground the Clock' and, you know, by the time I pressed send on the first draft, A, I wasn't sure if it was good, whereas normally I've got a strong sense of when I'm getting, you know, when I'm on track. And B, I then sat back and went, 'Oh, God, does anyone ever need to hear that much about me?' And my, you know, everything from bad underwear to, you know, my instincts and genius and friendships and trials and tribulations and the itchy spot on my back and the, you know, on and on it goes, But the feedback and look, this is where I'm very kind to myself. I've tried, you know, I've avoided reading reviews and I just know myself, you know, one bad review will, doesn't matter if it's 200 good ones, that the one that will stick, that's just how I am wired so I'm like, no, a few, you know, people in the publishing world have said, 'Oh, God, she got great reviews and they're real reviews and what has delighted me is that people from the other side of the world sometimes or around the corner that I've never met have gone to the trouble find me so I don't have a very effective website on Instagram in my tiny Instagram account, it was much smaller when I first started and actually went, they felt compelled to somehow find me and let me know how they felt about the book, that they felt like it was written for them or about them, it's been a lot of this could have been me, you know, I feel like you wrote this for me, not every story is going to relate with everyone, but I think in our, in our vulnerability, we become human and therefore we become relatable and I think you can be relatable and aspirational and dynamic all at the same time, one doesn't have to be given up for the other.

Ocea:  I've got two more questions to ask you because I feel like we've explored so much today, I am enough is really powerful, they're three powerful words when they're said with a vow intention, I am enough and what does that mean to you personally and when someone reads your book, I know you've shared a little bit, you love the fact that people are relating to your vulnerability, As I was reading, I was like, oh my gosh, I did that, oh my gosh, I did that. So that was a lovely experience and it made it an easy read but impactful at the same time. What do you want someone to feel when they finish reading your book?

Sheridan: I want them to feel that they are enough because I think through that response you had just then, oh, sure, you know, like, oh, that could have been me, I relate to that and then they see me stepping into a sense of having enough, doing enough, being enough, that by doing less, I selectively can have more in the areas that are important to me, are important to, you know, those I love and maybe the world, that, but I can do it too. So it's not the trying to be Sheridan but it's like if Sheridan can become more Sheridan by relaxing and letting go and pressing pause and looking after herself and loving herself well to coin your phrase and maybe I can too. That hope. There is hope in there.

Ocea: Yes, definitely, it is a really hopeful, 90-day journey, it's an and it's kind. I like the fact that it's kind. The other thing I wanted to ask you to wrap up is if you could, some people might thinking, I'm going to read the book, it's going to be like another 90-day challenge and I'm going to quit halfway through. I never finished these things. I have all that negative self talk as you know that we all do but if they aren't ready to jump right in, I'm going to put your social media links in the show notes and they can follow you because you put little bits and pieces on there and they don't want to go into a 90-day challenge but still buy the book because even if you read a couple of pages a day and don't do the whole 90 day challenge, you might be inspired to do it later down the track. That's my encouragement for our listeners. But what would be the one thing that they could, like one action step they could take today to begin their journey towards recognising and embracing what I'll call their own enoughness?

Sheridan:  What's interesting because a lot of people have said I meant to do the 90 day challenge but they end up binge reading which is very flattering that on the note you know what happens to me, what happens to me, what happens next. You can just read and enjoy the stories and I guess the one thing you can do is reflect whether it's reflecting on my stories and how they resonate with it. So why? Why did that one story stand out to you? What is happening in your life? And so by reflecting, we can only reflect when we create time. So when we press pause, it allows, it allows things to surface and probably the way my life has changed is that now instead of chasing things, I still want things as I said earlier, I'm still quite ambitious, I still have dreams, but I let things emerge. So it's not that I don't take actions, I'm not sitting there waiting for the lottery win or waiting for Oprah to call, though please call Oprah, that would be just lovely. You know, we all have those dreams that occasionally come true, but allowing things to emerge. You know, one of my absolute favourite things that has happened out of this book is being on the other side of the microphone, being a guest on podcasts and they're also different. So you know, Ocea, when you contacted me and you said you were starting a podcast, you know, so much joy because it's like, oh wow, not only do I get to catch up with someone, I haven't had a chance to be with for ages, but we get to share where we're at now, you know, that's exciting, that's exacting, so yeah, allowing things to emerge, still taking actions that send me in that direction, but not going into some kind of frenzied attempt to, you know, force something to happen. Yeah, I've got to trust my own life path more if that makes sense.

Ocea: We could probably talk about this because it is a topic close to my heart and to yours. We could talk about this for ages, but I will finish off with a big thank you and thank you for writing such a wonderful book. I do really recommend it. I have an addiction to books, but I don't keep them all. I know you reference that in your book. Yes. And mine has lots and lots of sticky notes in it, always that this is one of the books that I'm going to keep, although I feel like maybe I should just buy another one and put it in the little local library house so someone else can get some of the share it around.

[Laughter]

Sheridan: Yeah paying it forward and look, if I could share one final little story. So I met a chap last year after the book came out and he said, "I saw your book at the airport. I walked past it and I went back to look at it because the book, even if you don't read it, it's like an affirmation a declaration. You know each time you walk past it, your unconscious goes, "I have enough. I do enough. I am enough." He said, "I walked past it and I went back and I looked at it and I have enough. I do enough. I am enough." And he said, "I straightened my shoulders." I thought, "Yeah, I am enough." And I walked. He didn't buy the book. He just hilarious. That's just what it would have been in a better way. However, you know, he just got something out of the title and I talk about right at the end of the book how it goes from an affirmation, something I'm affirming that I want to a declaration, something that I actually am.

Ocea: Yeah, thank you. Well, Sheridan, it's been a blast. I do feel super inspired and I feel that my soul has been uplifted. So I hope everyone else feels the same.

Sheridan: Thank you. It has been an honour. It sounds cheesy, maybe to say an honour and a privilege, but it really has. Ocea, you've created this beautiful space and time for us to have a conversation and for the person who's listening wherever you are. I just want you to know that you are enough. You can, you know, yes, then maybe room for improvement. Doesn't mean you're not enough. You may want a little bit more in life. Doesn't mean you don't have enough.

Ocea: I hope you enjoyed that conversation. I encourage you to find one takeaway and apply it into your own life and what is that one thing that you can share to inspire someone else. Thank you for listening. I appreciate your time and remember, always, always love yourself well.

[Music]

DISCLAIMER: The content in the podcast and on this webpage is not intended to be a substitute for professional medical advice, diagnosis, or treatment. Always seek the advice of your doctor or qualified healthcare provider. Never disregard professional medical advice or delay in seeking it because of something you have heard on the podcast or on my website.